I am still spinning thoughts in my head about worship. And about hospitality. About love. Acceptance. Grace for the journey. About my beliefs and how to share them. I'm still struggling with some disillusionment, some disappointment. So many thoughts. So many big concepts that I can't get a handle on. I'm frustrated by things that centered me in the past not being available in the present. I'm frustrated by not being able to adequately and intelligently express how I feel, what I believe, and why my journey has taken me where it has.
Life isn't bad - just complicated right now. The hamster is back on the wheel. Running so fast that I can't begin to sort out the tangled mess of the many threads I need to pursue.
Break was good. Florida was warm, and sunny. Relaxing. But when you visit people, you just can't find the time you need to deal with your brain confusion.
I'm caving. Being alone. Seeing if that helps. Pulling back from activities that aren't critical. I just desperately need to find some me time. Some God time. Some down time. Time to recharge the battery of my life. So, if I seem antisocial - it's not you. And I'm not in a terrible place. Just a thinking place. A working it out place.
Now, if there was just an ocean and a beach in Illinois......