fluctuating certainty
...Climbing out of this boat I'm in, onto the crashing waves
" The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes."

Marcel Proust


Name: Karen Gerber
From: West Chicago, Illinois, United States
More..
In case you missed it....
  • The Stronghold
  • Can I just say I'm sick (literally) of coughing???...
  • Sweet Baby James....
  • A dogs life
  • Vertigo
  • How does your garden grow?
  • The search for true love begins outside the box
  • The verdict???
  • Something to keep you occupied til I'm better...
  • Still sick.....
The Stronghold Can I just say I'm sick (literally) of coughing??? Come on down and we'll go... :-)

Feel better!!
LOL.
And I'm sure you could use it just as much as me.... ;)
Sweet Baby James.... does the $100 include the picnic blanket seats too? that's crazy... A dogs life Vertigo How does your garden grow? The search for true love begins outside the box The verdict??? you can join me in the massive amounts of decaf iced tea I'm drinking these days. brewed right, it at least tastes good... Something to keep you occupied til I'm better... Still sick..... Awwwwwwwwwww...but cute!! :) Hope you feel better!!:) What's a girl to do?? You are afraid to dream, I was afraid of failure http://www.xanga.com/zhinifo/430885684/item.html
God is still with us, perhaps in different environments then we were able to idealize.

ps- leftovers in the fridge from my lunch if you want.
I could have posted almost exactly the same thing - have you been delving into my head recently without me knowing!!??

You said, "I do think about it though, what it would take, how it would look, and who we could get to come on board. But I'm afraid each of the people I would like to incorporate, and whom I think could and would contribute and benefit from this kind of group has multiple reasons why it wouldn't work."

How would it look? I'd like to do some dreaming - because it would be great someday to be part of something like this again - and to hear and think through some of the things to keep, things to change, and things that could be, would be very benefitial.

Are you up for that?
Char, we need to go to dinner... Jen....thank you. How about Tues night? The kids are with Grandma...Call me! Your help is needed! You play, you pay.....=( Get well soon! Sorry you're so miserable... I'm sorry you feel yucky. sounds like you guys had fun though. Sausage and Pirogies! yUM!!!! Can I get the recipe? Disturbing new stories.... Rosie the Recycler Just don't forget - when they do go out don't put them in the regular trash! Yes, and I should have put that in the post shouldn't I have?!
Thanks for the reminder....
Solidarity or Sanctimony? Wow!!!! That was almost a Kevin level soap box rant!

Let me just give you another side, from the bottom of my heart! Each year as we approach Orphan Sunday, many organizations do these solidarity challenges.

I was doing one this week, but I quit today! Not because I couldn't make it, because I could. But because I like you had to honestly say that it did not accomplish it's goal.

However, I do think it is a great idea, as a means to introduce people to the idea of cutting their consumption. I think most people will fail to get that point, however the value is in the 1 who does get it. I actually KNOW that young man this time.

He seems to have gotten it and is talking about genuine changes in his consumption, spending, and life choices. Now that makes the trend worth it.

Just as comfort, Orphan Sunday is this Sunday, and then it will all be over, at least until next year.
ha ha - Kevin level. I like that. ;)
And I'm so honored......

And yes, I do see it's validity in some situations. But not in most, especially in the ones I am observing at the moment.....
Beautiful rant Karen - and thank you!

Now if I had just such a mirror on all my hypocrisy...
Messed Up Tiptoe Through The Tulips Having arrived via the Armenian road, assurance and security doesn't bother me. The glass is half full - I have chosen, I can choose, I shall choose, and can always choose. Can I choose not?Well yes, but the ability to choose not is what verifies my ability to choose for..Just as the absence of light give credence to the light's existence. Is the absence of light something in and of itself? Not really, the existence of the light is the only thing that actually is. The other is only it's lack...

Whoa, I think I need to go to bed...that was a little brain spinning...(yes my little brain)
Shoulda baked a cake... Hey, congratulations! I should look and see how old I am...
Pigeon Holes
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Friends with something to say
  • emergingpensees - Mike
  • onehandclapping - Julie
  • Cookin' at Café D - Dana
  • Wendykate - Wendy
  • Crumbs From My Table - Aaron
  • Unconventional Wisdom - Jen
  • Falling Awake - Anne
  • Epiphany - Christine
  • Kellywell - Kelly
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  • Zoo Gal - Darla
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  • Addicted Mindset - Christi
  • Girasoul - Char
  • too aware of the pending - Samm
  • One Ear to the Ground - Sarah
  • GoteeMan - Jeff
  • Happiness is a Butterfly - Vanessa
  • Already Worth it all - Katherine
What am I reading now?

Twenty Chickens for a Saddle - Robyn Scott

What have I read recently?

Looking for God: An Unexpected Journey through Tattoos, Tofu, and Pronouns -Nancy Ortberg

Not to be Missed ~ Highly recommended

Velvet Elvis - Rob Bell

Your God is Too Safe - Mark Buchanan

Girl Meets God - Lauren Winner

Finding Faith : A Self-Discovery Guide for Your Spiritual Quest - Brian D. McLaren

Blue Like Jazz: Nonreligious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality - Donald Miller

Traveling Mercies : Some Thoughts on Faith - Anne Lamott

Mere Christianity - C. S. Lewis

Soul Survivor: How My Faith Survived the Church - Philip Yancey

A Generous Orthodoxy - Brian D. McLaren

The Secret Message of Jesus : Uncovering the Truth that Could Change Everything -Brian McLaren

The Challenge of Jesus: Rediscovering Who Jesus Was and Is - N. T. Wright
Give a Listen

Reflection of Something - Todd Agnew

Grace Like Rain - Todd Agnew

Lifesong - Casting Crowns

Casting Crowns - Casting Crowns

Hymns Ancient and Modern - Passion

Share the Well - Caedmon's Call

She Must and Shall Go Free - Derek Webb

How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb - U 2

Do You See What I See? - Todd Agnew

A Collision - David Crowder Band

Come On Come On - Mary Chapin Carpenter
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Tuesday, May 20, 2008
The Stronghold
We are back from our third, and unfortunately final, Via Christus retreat. We had a really good, but quite emotionally stressful weekend. Really, at this point I don't have anything I feel like saying. So I will share a few of the pictures I took during solitude and silence time as I wandered the grounds with God.
And a few more candids from around the castle.
Enjoy!






















Labels: church, family, friends, Retreat, Via Christus

 
posted by gerbmom at 1:13 PM | Permalink | 0 comments
Monday, May 19, 2008
Can I just say I'm sick (literally) of coughing???

Well, I went back to the doctor again. The magic stethoscope concurs that my lungs are really tight. I now have in my possession a new, stronger antibiotic for the bronchitis that won't go away, as well as a 12 day course of prednisone, AND an Advair inhaler for this stubborn asthma attack. Oh, and over the counter Mucinex. And cough medicine with codeine so I can sleep at night.
Did I mention my chest muscles are killing me, my lungs ache and my head feels like someone is hitting it with a hammer every time I cough?
I have to go back in a week.....

I think what I really need is a week on the beach - that would be the best RX ever. And I KNOW it would work.
 
posted by gerbmom at 10:02 PM | Permalink | 2 comments
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Sweet Baby James....

James Taylor concert tickets for June 6th and 7th at Ravinia START at $100. For the FAR away lawn seats. Or, you can spend $523 a piece for the 21st row....

Not bad for a guy who began his singing career in the mid 60's.

Yeah, it's my dream concert... but I so won't be going. =(

Labels: concert, James Taylor, Ravinia

 
posted by gerbmom at 1:18 PM | Permalink | 1 comments
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
A dogs life

So, the puppy has hypothyroidism. Not as bad as it could have been, initially they thought he might be diabetic too. But those numbers are ok on the second test. As for the hypothyroidism - it made him whiny, fearful (excessively), unable to track well because it effected his scenting ability. It made him sleepy. And a tiny bit over weight. It also gave him terribly dry skin, and a dull coat, which was the thing that took us to the vet with him in the first place. That's why they did the blood work. I guess he tested at 1 a month ago and it should be 5. Yesterday he tested at 8. So now we have swung the other way and have to back off the meds a little. But I like the weight loss, the lower anxiety level, the fact that he plays again, that kind of thing. I don't like that he has taken to carrying slippers and underwear all over the house again.....
I really don't mind the meds - he takes them easily and they are dirt cheap. But until he's regulated he has to have blood work at $58 a pop. That is not fun. Or insured.
And now they have decided he has a kind of seborrheic dermatitis (so does Kim....LOL) and has to be bathed weekly with a special shampoo..... I'm glad Carissa will be home tomorrow. ;)

Labels: Cairo, hypothyroidism, seborrheic dermatitis

 
posted by gerbmom at 1:09 PM | Permalink | 0 comments
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Vertigo
Life is on the fast track right now....doctor's visits - both for being sick as well as shots for Haiti, Jen graduating, planting/gardening/yard work, celebratory dinners, church, dealing with a crazy dog that now apparently has hypothyroidism, end of the year stuff at school, way too much laundry, getting ready for my college freshman to come home, and a church retreat this weekend = no time to think, much less post. I don't know if I'm coming or going.

I really need to find a way to simplify my life. What I wanna do is sit in a hammock in my back yard next to the fountain with a good book, a snuggly puppy, and a sweet tea. Oh, and good music. Instead I'm doing all of the above, plus cleaning, meetings, shopping - I feel myself just getting wound tighter and tighter and tighter.

Like the little clown on the string held between two hands that you kept winding until you couldn't wind any longer and then you let it go and it spins and spins, faster and faster, and the only thing that saves it from flying off into space is the string that connects it to the hands.
It finally stops and swings gently; a smile on its plastic face.

My life is about as wound as it can be. It's time for the spinning, the change, the stirring it all up. I'm not ready. I never am. I'm dizzy and disoriented already and the spinning has just begun. But at least I know that God's hands will keep me from flying off into space. And one can only hope that when the spinning stops I will end up swinging gently in that hammock a grateful smile on my face.

Labels: personal, ponderings

 
posted by gerbmom at 11:53 AM | Permalink | 0 comments
Thursday, May 08, 2008
How does your garden grow?

I was actually feeling well enough last night to go to the nursery and buy my plants. It made me smile to step out of my car and instantly be surrounded by pansies of every variety and color. I LOVE pansies. I buy them every year because they make me smile. And I kill them by the end of June. It's just too hot - even in the shade, and I occasionally forget to water them. So I just stood and admired the beauty and then I walked on by. Not an easy thing cuz they went on forever, in pots, baskets, hanging baskets.....

So what is my garden gonna grow? Well, theoretically: tomatoes, green, red and yellow bell peppers, bush beans (Blue Lake Bush Bean #274 ) -the only seeds I bought), melons, cucumbers, zucchini (just one plant...), basil, oregano, chives, and cilantro. I say theoretically because I don't even have the garden ready for planting yet, much less convinced my husband to move the whole thing to a new location. Of course, the big challenge will be keeping the dog from eating the plants/vegis......

And I bought marigolds (cuz I can't kill 'em), wave petunias - they spread and are really pretty - for the side yard; geraniums and dusty miller for the big kettle in the front yard; impatiens for the back yard under the trees; sun coleus for the patio pots; a hanging basket for the front porch and a few flowers I can't remember.

I came home tired, but happy. Now I have to find a) the time and b) the energy to plant them. And do the edging, turning, weeding, mulching....

Um, remind me again - just why did I buy all these plants???

Labels: gardening

 
posted by gerbmom at 12:22 PM | Permalink | 0 comments
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
The search for true love begins outside the box
OK - I'm being lazy again. I apologize. But I saw a WONDERFUL movie a couple weeks ago and intended to blog about it - then I got sick and all those good intentions went out the window. So, now I'm ready to blog - and here I find a most excellent post by Kathy over at The Carnival in My Head about this very thing.
Now, you all know my brain is currently full of cotton candy, and on top of that, today I got my shots for Haiti and I just wanna do nothing. OK - while that's all true, in reality I'm just lazy. And she said it so much better than I could. Plus she'll get a boost from this link on her technorati! ;) OK - enough rationalization. Sorry. Just go read her post on my new favorite movie - Lars and the Real Girl.
Then, go rent the movie!

Labels: community, Lars and the Real Girl, The Carnival in my Head

 
posted by gerbmom at 12:43 PM | Permalink | 0 comments
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
The verdict???
.....steroids to try and get the asthma under control, a new inhaler, antibiotics for the infection and a stern warning about caffeine ( I NEED MY TEA) and Sudafed (duh - but it was the lesser of two evils at the time)to get the PVC's under control. And drink, drink, drink.....

Labels: health, personal

 
posted by gerbmom at 12:14 PM | Permalink | 1 comments
Monday, May 05, 2008
Something to keep you occupied til I'm better...
Carissa has declared an art minor - she has applied and been accepted in the Art program at Gordon.
So....what is she up to?
Just a couple examples of sketches she has done recently- these are all sketches and practice pieces:


Quick Sketch of Me by ~ivyrose on deviantART


pancakes by ~ivyrose on deviantART


Lovers on the Beach by ~ivyrose on deviantART



Self Portrait by ~ivyrose on deviantART

and these are older. If you are interested you can find more here - a work in progress.... Unfortunately most of her portfolio pieces are not on line.


Joe by ~ivyrose on deviantART


Mod Bond Girl Costume Design by ~ivyrose on deviantART


iPod Attack by ~ivyrose on deviantART

Labels: art pieces, family, fun, personal

 
posted by gerbmom at 3:27 PM | Permalink | 0 comments
Friday, May 02, 2008
Still sick.....
...as soon as this cold/allergy/sinus thing leaves me alone
and my brain is fully functional.

Labels: personal

 
posted by gerbmom at 2:50 PM | Permalink | 1 comments
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
What's a girl to do??

So, the question has become what are we gonna do AVC? (After Via Christus) And quite honestly I have to say I don't know. I just don't have a clue. I've been trying to stay in the moment and take advantage of and enjoy every moment we have left. It would be easy to say "I can't" when presented with current VC opportunities - because after all what will it matter in two months? That's not the way to look at it. And I struggle. I am frustrated that such a good thing has to have a conclusion. And yet, so excited for where God is leading people. Life is fluid. That's all there is to it. And we have to deal with that fluctuation, and with change. So, again, I don't know what is in store. Mike said it well on his blog yesterday....

" I was reminded that after being immersed in a highly participatory house church community for so long, it would be really hard (if not impossible) for me to go back and be content in that non-interactive "sermon and a sing-along" format anymore, not even if I was the one up front getting to do the sermon."

I know, I hear you all saying if you can't find one, start one. But I certainly don't feel equipped to do so no matter how much I'd like to be. And I certainly don't have the enthusiasm of someone twenty years younger. Or the ideas, connections, knowledge and energy it would take.

I do think about it though, what it would take, how it would look, and who we could get to come on board. But I'm afraid each of the people I would like to incorporate, and whom I think could and would contribute and benefit from this kind of group has multiple reasons why it wouldn't work. Including teenage kids that "need" a youth group.

No easy answers, just more questions. I suppose if you don't dream you'll never get there, but I can all too easily see that dream turning into a nightmare....

Labels: church, faith, ponderings

 
posted by gerbmom at 9:02 AM | Permalink | 5 comments
Monday, April 28, 2008
Your help is needed!

You've probably seen the headlines about record food prices, which have led to deadly violence and panic across the globe.

The U.N. Secretary-General said last week that the situation has "become a global crisis," and the World Food Programme is warning of a "silent tsunami" of hunger. Even here in the U.S., grocery stores are starting to ration sales of rice.

Sojourners



You can help by Telling Congress to fix our food policy......

Why should you take the time to let congress know how you feel? Because....


....Sadly, this desperate situation is being worsened by our own government's policies. While we spend billions of dollars on food for the hungry overseas, Congress requires that all of it be purchased from farmers in the U.S. and shipped halfway around the world — wasting money and delaying the food's arrival.

As Congress finalizes the Farm Bill, tell them to fix this misguided policy and help feed more hungry people.

From Sojourners

It seems so obvious: When buying food for hungry people overseas, buy from farmers nearby - it's simpler, cheaper, and better for the local economy and environment.....

Labels: Farm Bill, Food crisis, rice, Sojourners

 
posted by gerbmom at 2:30 PM | Permalink | 0 comments
You play, you pay.....=(
Two hours. Two little hours until I can go home and wrap up in a warm blanket and curl up on my couch. Two hours that seem like two days. I hurt all over, my head feels as big as a beach ball, my nose is stuffy, my throat is raw, and I am losing my voice. Needless to say I can't think or concentrate, yet here I am trying to make the time pass faster by doing something....

I spent Saturday in bed. By yesterday I was determined to be better. Our church took a field trip to Chicago to attend Wicker Park Grace's Jazz Vespers. I'd been looking forward to this forever, so I wasn't gonna miss it!


Before Vespers, Jen had gotten us tickets to do a brewery tour and beer tasting at Goose Island in Chicago. I do not like 312. Sorry Goose Island. I wasn't even too fond of Honkers Ale. Nut Brown Ale - possibilities.... but I just don't like beer. Actually the best one was the Russian Imperial Stout. :)





This is John Hall our guide and brew master, not to be confused with John Hall the owner....

This is the Brewery on Clybourne.

After the Brew tour we headed over to Wicker Park Grace which was fun and interesting. The music was excellent. They had a potluck after the service, but Jen has been wanting us to go to one of her favorite restaurants on Milwaukee Avenue.


So, after Vespers Jen, Karen, Katherine, Kelsey, Kim and I went over to Earwax Cafe for dinner.


Hmmmm I just realized that Jen was the only J there among all us K's. LOL. The food was good, the atmosphere funky. Kelsey had a buffalo burger, Katherine - Jerk Chicken, Karen - the black bean burger and Jen, Kim and I had the Vegi burritos.

Now today I am paying the price for playing. In my defense, I had looked forward to the outing for so long, and I was feeling better. Today I am wishing for home and couch. Grrr......

Labels: Ear Wax Cafe, Goose Island Brewery, Wicker Park Grace

 
posted by gerbmom at 1:15 PM | Permalink | 2 comments
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Sausage and Pirogies!

This was what I made for dinner last night. It was quite yummy. Pirogies, Italian sausage, onions, peppers, basil, spinach - and a sour cream side.

Hungry?

Labels: Italian sausage, personal, pirogies

 
posted by gerbmom at 12:19 PM | Permalink | 2 comments
Disturbing new stories....
A couple interesting stories in the news this morning. The first one is regarding "Christian" license plates... you can find the story here.
Hmmm.... this could be a real can of worms if you ask me.



The second news story is also disturbing, but for a different reason. Rice rationing. I first heard about this on the news last night. This is not a good sign. Rice is one of the few relatively healthy foods that poor people can afford. It is also a staple in many cultures and cultural dishes. It's one thing for food prices to rise - that hurts. But to not be able to get the food we can afford is an ominous sign. I hope this is just a knee jerk reaction, a proactive move and the retailers will rethink this.
It is interesting that most rice is eaten within 60 miles of where it is produced - however due to demand,("as populations cross borders, the taste for specialty rice such as the Indian basmati, or Thai jasmine rice, which grow only in their areas of origin, spread")these supplies are in jeopardy. Granted, the poor here are probably not eating basmati or jasmine rice, but that rice is coming from somewhere, and if we are demanding a large supply the country of origin has to be facing shortages there among their poor.
A recent BBC artcle also states:

The institute said several factors were behind the rise in rice prices.

Land for producing rice and irrigation water is being lost to industrialisation and urbanisation.

The growing appetite among Asia's burgeoning urban middle class, especially in India and China, for meat and dairy products is also leading to less land for rice production.

Factors such as the flooding in Indonesia and Bangladesh and recent cold weather in Vietnam and China have also hurt production, it said.


Rice. Food of the rich?

Labels: food issues, poverty, rice

 
posted by gerbmom at 7:46 AM | Permalink | 0 comments
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Rosie the Recycler

Well - we finally got a bunch of our lightbulbs swapped out over the past week. Finally.
That somehow seems appropriate considering it was Earth Day yesterday.
Anyhow, my family room, kitchen and bedroom are now doing their part. :)
If you haven't already done it, give it a shot.....

You can learn about the benefits of CFL's here.

And here are some statistics worth thinking about....


According to the federal Energy Star program:
"If every household in the
U.S. replaced one (standard incandescent) light
bulb with an Energy
Star-qualified compact fluorescent light bulb, it would
prevent enough
pollution to equal removing one million cars from the
road."

And in
case you weren't listening closely, there is this:
"If every
American
home exchanged the five most frequently used bulbs with Energy
Star-qualified bulbs, one trillion pounds of greenhouse gases would be kept
out
of the air over the course of the bulbs' lives (a lifetime range of five
to as
many as eight years or so). That's equivalent to the annual emissions
of 8
million cars, the annual output of more than 20 power plants, and $6
billion in
energy savings."


Happy Swapping!

Labels: compact fluorescent light bulbs, federal Energy Star program

 
posted by gerbmom at 11:06 AM | Permalink | 2 comments
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Solidarity or Sanctimony?
WARNING: Rant ahead......


Why do people do those" live on two dollars a day or less for a week" things? It seems they are popping up all over the place these days. What is their motivation? I mean, is it really because they want to feel what it's like? Or is it just that it's trendy and the thing to do? And then tell everyone about it so others will see how concerned they are about hunger in third world countries? Does it make them feel good about themselves - like they are doing something noble? Or, is it just to see if they CAN do it?

I'm sorry - it's beginning to irritate me. Us playing them when they are truly hungry.

That has to seem like a mockery. If you want to enter into this, make real changes, not drastic, splashy," I'm cool cuz I'm doing it for a week" things.

Really cut back. Change the way you look at food, the way you eat. What you eat. Make changes in lifestyle, gas consumption, energy use and consumerism. And mean it. Don't just do it to be cool, or to fool yourself into thinking you get it. Or to alleviate guilt.Or to make some statement.

And why choose this particular project? Why aren't more of them choosing to experience poverty and homelessness in the US? Why don't I see them living / sleeping on a street in Chicago for a week in torn rags, with no coat, in the middle of the winter - and writing about that?

I'm sure this post is gonna make people mad. And I'm equally sure there are some who are doing these things with very good intentions. I'm just not sure this is the way to do it, or that telling everyone about it is the way to go. It's like fasting. Do I run around telling everyone I'm fasting? Or do I just do it - as a thing between God and me? As a way to enter into communion with God. A way for him to show me what I need to hear, see and know.

Yes, we need to understand there are billions or more starving. We need to understand the horrendous poverty that over half the world endures. We need to find ways - like letter writing or phone calls to congressmen, or working on the Jubilee act, or any number of other ways - to help alleviate these conditions, not just pretend to be in their shoes.

Do it if you choose, but keep it between you and God, and maybe a friend or two to talk about what has changed in your life as a result of it. Just don't stand on the street corner enlightening all who walk by.