Put up or shut up. Fish or Cut Bait. S_ _t or get off the pot. You know all the sayings. And that is right where I am. All my decisions about my church have been made. After my obligations at Easter are done I am gone. But as of today I haven't told the Choir Director, the Worship Team Leader or the ensemble I am in. Hasn't been necessary - yet. But, now after all the crap we have been through with worship team, after they shot themselves in the foot, painted themselves into a corner, and they were not able to do the job, suddenly they have decided that they want to use us again. My Achilles heel. Aargh. Gotta be strong. Stick to the decision I made. And now, I have to tell people. I am a wreck. I hate conflict. I hate doing things that make people think badly of me. I am not strong. I'm a chicken. But, it appears I have run out of time. I thought today was the day, but I have gotten a weeks reprieve. And I'm taking it, believe me, I am. But I have to do it. I have to act on what I know to be right and the decision that I have made.
And until I do it, the stress will just continue to weigh on me. Either choice I make, to wait, or to tell, will be painful. Guess I'm in for a rough couple weeks. That sucks.