Thursday, March 09, 2006

Where the Rubber Meets the Road...

Put up or shut up. Fish or Cut Bait. S_ _t or get off the pot. You know all the sayings. And that is right where I am. All my decisions about my church have been made. After my obligations at Easter are done I am gone. But as of today I haven't told the Choir Director, the Worship Team Leader or the ensemble I am in. Hasn't been necessary - yet. But, now after all the crap we have been through with worship team, after they shot themselves in the foot, painted themselves into a corner, and they were not able to do the job, suddenly they have decided that they want to use us again. My Achilles heel. Aargh. Gotta be strong. Stick to the decision I made. And now, I have to tell people. I am a wreck. I hate conflict. I hate doing things that make people think badly of me. I am not strong. I'm a chicken. But, it appears I have run out of time. I thought today was the day, but I have gotten a weeks reprieve. And I'm taking it, believe me, I am. But I have to do it. I have to act on what I know to be right and the decision that I have made.
And until I do it, the stress will just continue to weigh on me. Either choice I make, to wait, or to tell, will be painful. Guess I'm in for a rough couple weeks. That sucks.

4 comments:

kingsjoy said...

I feel your pain--been there a time or two. Just remember, they're only people, like you. And the only person in this entire universe who can make the best decision for you is...YOU!

And...they'll get over it.

(I mean that kindly, hope this doesn't come across as harsh. I just REALLY KNOW how you feel).

gerbmom said...

David,
It didn't come across as harsh. Dana keeps telling me the same thing on a daily basis. My personality tho just makes this very, very hard for me. It helps tho that you can relate to what I am feeling.....
thanks.

Christine said...

If they did it to you once, they'll do it to you again.

I guess if the conflict is too much for you, you could just sort of faaaaade out of their church....
I myself have always done the "gotta go!" thing.
It's funny how many people don't seem to believe you when you say it; I've actually had people surprised that I left, when I TOLD them that I was going to leave.
Ugh. I was glad to leave it all behind, actually. People who get mad about that aren't worth considering.

Kevin J. Bowman said...

Checking in... see how the weekend went... since you had this business to take care of?

Hope Ill be there tonight and you can let me know