Friday, January 20, 2006

And the beat goes on.....well, sorta

So we had worship team practice last night. Totally bland stuff for Sunday. Not sure what is going on. Evidently we have a couple new people interested in joining us - the new Associate/Youth pastor, and a new church member. Both do a lot of acoustic stuff. (which IS good - that's not the problem.) Neither can practice on Thursday night. And they have a whole different way of doing things. So, ok - we all have to change because of THEM? Frustrating! I guess it makes me wonder why we are so anxious to make changes to "get" people involved and kinda get them to do something we are afraid they may not do if we don't do it their way....instead of saying, this is who we are, would you like to join us? I have seen this philosophy backfire more than once.And it's like our director of music is caving in to them (and the pastor) and letting them begin to call the shots. Fine. Whatever. Maybe that's the answer to my dilemma... Maybe I have to be pushed out to get out. Tho the music director swears we're not being phased out. Then she uses the dreaded words - performance group. Yes, as in, well this group may become more of a performance group. Huh? Ouch...not what I wanna be! Ok, so I gotta start seriously rethinking this whole thing. I guess I'm afraid if I'm not involved here, where will I find a place to be the music I need to be? And I know some of the others feel the same. Usually Thursday night practices rock. We just forget ourselves and have fun and enjoy God, and each other and music. Which is what it's all about right? I'm frustrated here. I just wanna ask God why He could possibly be taking away this very thing that I need....and then I laugh at myself knowing full well that He knows what I need and what I don't need. I just have to have a little more trust. But I will tell you; right now this does seem like the last straw during a very difficult season in my life.....

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