Attitude adjustment needed!

I found out today that my unmarried Christian friend is pregnant. My "very vocal about her beliefs" friend. Hmmmmm.
I don't know how to respond. I will not judge her to her face. I feel great compassion and sympathy for her and the situation. But if I am totally honest, I find in my heart I do judge her. And then it occurred to me how very much like the pharisees I am...not pretty. And it further occurred to me that I am upset with her because of her "damaged" testimony, yet how I respond in this case is also being watched by others! To see what my attitude is, how I interact with her. How convicting and humbling.
And I think of the words in the Scripture about not judging, lest you be judged. I always assumed that the judging would be done by God. But perhaps there is an element of meaning here that we are also being watched and judged by others - those that are seeking, or confused or hurt. And if I judge my friend harshly, or speak badly of the situation, I may also be judged as self righteous and hypocritical, which will possibly keep someone else from desiring to follow Christ.
God give me grace to honestly respond as you would. Amen