Monday, March 10, 2008
Can you hear me now??
So, this is another one of those thoughts that I'm working on - it is still in process, but this is where I am in my thinking this morning...
Yesterday, as I was trying to pray - with no success, a new take on an old theme occurred to me.
Why does it seem like God does not hear our prayers? We were always taught that you had to be "right with God" for your prayers to be heard. That sin in your life kept God from hearing you - unless of course the prayer was a prayer of repentance. If that is so than there are an awful lot of prayers not being heard. Would God deliberately ignore our prayers? Sometimes it feels like it - those times it seems like the prayers bounce off the ceiling and go no further. So - if it IS sin that stops the prayer, is it God punishing us? I don't think so.
What occurred to me today is the fact that I can't pray with this obvious "sin" in my life. It has nothing to do with any of the other requests, praises, etc., but it's there in the back of my mind when I am trying to pray about other things. It is something I should be praying for, asking for, wanting, and yet I don't, and until I get that fixed, how dare I think I have the kind of deep open relationship with God that allows fellowship and communication? Yes, he's still hearing me. And probably answering me. But I can't hear it, I can't see it, and I'm hiding instead of truly connecting with God. Because I know what he wants me to do and I'm not doing it. My guilt, shame and avoidance are the hindrance. It is not God's judgement.
When Adam and Eve sinned they knew they had done wrong. They were embarrassed, and they hid from God. And yet, he went looking for them. They didn't want to talk to him, but he still wanted to have a relationship with them.
He is still waiting, still listening; He is still there.
My prayers are not heard, because I am not able to pray.
He is not ignoring me - I am not comfortable being in His presence.
And so, I hide.