Sunday, January 13, 2008

Through a Glass Darkly

That's a phrase I have heard all my life. And understood. But it was not so strikingly clear until this morning.
I have a mirror in the corner of my room. A horrible, ugly mirror to be sure. But it's there to make sure I don't go out with mismatched clothes, or those that might be unfastened in crucial places. Because it is in the corner, and because I am lazy, it had taken on a significant coat of dust. The only thing it was good for these days was a cursory glance, and off I went.
Well, yesterday I got tired of the dust. So I pulled the mirror out of its corner, dusted it and Windexed the heck out of it. Pretty, shiny mirror. And then I put it back in it's corner and forgot about it. Until this morning.
Out of habit I got up and did all those morning things, and, again, out of habit glanced in the mirror. Whoa! There I was in all my honest, down to the tiniest detail, glory. First, let me say I was shocked - there was a person in my room, no wait, that's my reflection in a mirror. A brilliantly clean and unrelentingly honest mirror. I couldn't hide from myself anymore. Every flaw, every spot, every out of place anything seemed glaringly obvious.
And I saw me, for what I am today. Not who I think I am. Not who I want to be. But who I am.
Not pretty? Oh well, I have to face that fact. It's presented itself pretty obviously to me.

My dirty mirror obscured my vision of reality. It was imperfect. If my vision of myself is imperfect, even tho I know myself, and if I choose to ignore the reality of what I know - just how can I pretend to know God? Or all the things about him. I am here, and now, with a physical presence. Yet I still don't see myself as I am. How can I, or anyone else for that matter, be so confident that what I perceive God is, or what I perceive is of God, or even what I think God is saying is definitively what God is or what God intends or means? That is just plain arrogance. How can I be sure what I so confidently perceive as truth is indeed truth?
I think I need to clean the mirror in my mind that is reflecting God. I need to take a step back and really examine what I see. And fully realize, that until I see God, face to face, I will never have a clear picture, or a clear understanding of what and who He is. He will always be viewed through a cloudy and distorted glass.
If I try to clean the glass - I'm sure I will find I have been so wrong about what I have seen. I may not like what I see. It may make me uncomfortable, or embarrassed, or want to break the glass so I don't have to be honest with myself......
And someday I will be seen as I am, and He will be seen as He is in all His glory. And there will be no misunderstanding. The glass will be perfectly transparent.
Just try to get your head around that.

"For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known. "

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