So, I was sitting here thinking this is my blog, I can do whatever I want. And I decided I would post something I wrote back in February. It ended up on my friends blog, but I decided to go ahead and post it here, because it is about me.
When a bad situation happened to my friend because of his "beliefs" I took a good hard look to see just what the problem was. Why were things so controversial? And as I looked and thought, it all began to snowball into a lot of questions and frustration about my beliefs. Why did his way of looking at stuff resonate with me, and yet why was I hesitant to go there? I struggled and wrestled with a lot of things trying to understand just what I was missing about postmodernism...
until one night about 10:00 it hit me. I e-mailed him the next day, and this is what he put on his blog:
What this "postmodern" journey is all about...
Ever since this whole controversy over my "postmodern" ideas erupted at my church I've been encouraged by an ongoing conversation I've been able to share with a new friend who has had many questions for me about my views. Just recently she sent me this email, and it was so inspiring to me that I asked her if I could share it with all of you. What she writes just so perfectly encapsulates exactly what this whole thing is about:
"I get it, I get it !!!!! Last night my world shifted - it was a bingo moment :) Probably a small bingo moment to you - but a huge bingo moment for me! I see it! Instead of embracing the basics I was getting lost in the details! All those peripheral issues were distracting me - I need to realize they will follow in their time, when I am ready. I found the connection I was looking for, the thing that makes this all work, and it is so simple - you have to lose your faith to find it! Lose your growing up faith, the faith (what) you were taught; your parents', and pastor's and college's set of faith principles so you can find your own personal faith. You don't lose your faith in God, you lose your faith in your faith. This is the connection I was searching for, and I get it :) It is so liberating to realize I am free to question and accept or reject things and work out my own faith. Awesome! I am free to confidently pursue the details without fear, and take all the time I need, not worrying that I am doubting GOD and whether I am truly His child because I have all these doubts. I don't doubt God, He's still hanging on to me, rather I doubt my faith construct.This makes me want to dance around the room, to cry with joy, to sing, to worship, to live!!! This whole pomo concept is not what I think, it's a way of thinking. I don't have to be or not be a creationist/dispensationalist/whatever. I have to be open to the process. It's MY faith, where I am TODAY, yet not static, always questioning, growing, changing, trusting, accepting, rejecting, reconstructing. For me, faith is not a leap, it's a slow walk on a winding road. It's a path to explore, and I'm looking forward to where it will take me :) The point is - I have permission to walk in this unknown and explore the mystery of what's next. I don't have to think like you or McLaren, or even agree, - I may or I may not, but I have to keep walking. I have to find whatever's out there for me to find. I just need to go where it can find me. BINGO!
"Take this soul
Stranded in some skin and bones
Take this soul
And make it sing!"