Come to the church in the wildwood.....

Dang it, I woke up with "Jesus is my friend" bubbling away in my brain. Ack. I suppose I deserved it.....

It's raining outside, and I'm at work sitting by the window watching the drips. The cool air actually feels good.

Ooooo! I have a cricket in my room. I do not like crickets. They jump. On me. They may be considered lucky, and people may keep them in brass boxes, but, yuck.

It's a melancholy day - I miss my friends. I miss Haiti. I miss Via Christus.

Speaking of which, we still haven't found a church. Wait, back up. We still haven't started looking for a church. You would think with a plethora of churches in this area we could find something. It just stresses me out to have to begin again. Boo.

I know what I don't want. It's harder to pinpoint what I do want. But let me try. This just might be a good exercise for this rainy afternoon.

I know I don't want to be part of an audience, being talked at. Or part of an audience being entertained. I much prefer discussion, or at least an opportunity to ask questions....

I prefer things more informal. I like a circle. At least a semi-circle. Much friendlier and conducive to discussion and feeling included. And it kinda puts us all on the same level, not separating the learned from the unenlightened.

I like small. House churches are great. And not so easy to find... I would settle for a small, simple congregation. I like chairs. They can be configured anyway you need them. Unless you have couches. Those are even better. ;)

I like experimenting with different types of worship - not just music. I like liturgy - not because I have to, but because it is enriching and fulfilling.

I like to participate - in readings, different kinds of worship, art - I'm spoiled. I'll admit it. Even if I choose not to participate, I at least want the choice.

I want to be part of a thinking and questioning group. Not just a face in a crowd where the same old thing is preached in whatever way is "in" right now. I want to dig deeper, to understand culture, to see underlying messages.

I want a leader who is not afraid to say I don't know. And one who doesn't think that just because they went to seminary 15 years ago they know it all. World without end. Amen.

Life is fluid. Learning is fluid. Christianity is fluid. New understandings become apparent as the spirit works. New revelations come to life when we are not afraid to rethink our positions. Why do we have to believe that the only allowed interpretations of the Bible ended with the King James version and (cough) Scofield's further interpretation thereof? (Remember the "curse of Ham" theory???) Or if we are more enlightened we just might accept the NKJ....

I want a church that cares about poverty, justice, and compassion. Not black and white, who's in, who's out, judgment and legalism. I've seen legalism get better over the years, but it's just an updated version with different rules.

I want a church where people are more concerned about how you are than what you wear; who live with compassion instead of judgment; who realize life is messy, and everyone has problems rather than one that always wants to uphold that look of perfection.

I want a church where there is no racism, class-ism, sexism or ageism. Or any other kind of ism for that matter.

I want a church where you don't have to be a Republican to be a Christian......where one can think and vote for the candidate that best matches up with their views. Democrat, Republican, Green, Independent - or any other party.

I want a church that cares more about people than the size of the congregation. That would rather invest in people than in fancy buildings and cutting edge technology. That is relational instead of attractional. Jesus was pretty blunt that it is not easy to follow him, he didn't try to attract people with tricks and programs. Even the miracles he did were relational.

I want a church that recognizes diversity. We aren't all the same. So why should a church force us to pretend to be? I value differences and good conversations - I just might learn something. We can celebrate the differences. All we need to agree on are the basic tenets of faith; to be unified on the essentials. (eg. the Apostle's Creed.)

I want a church that believes in Loving God and Loving others. Everything else will follow. One that realizes we have been blessed by God to be a blessing to others. One that is grace filled and community oriented.

I want a community.

I want a church.......

Who are you??

It’s interesting to catch up with people from your past and see where life has taken them. Which ones have predictably stayed the same, and which have changed or grown in amazing ways. Who settled for status quo, what they’ve always been taught, main stream republican lifestyle? And who ask questions, swam upstream and realized republicans aren’t the only party Christians can belong too? (I’m neither Republican or Democrat, just for the record.)

Thinking isn’t always easy. Change isn’t always easy. Too many of us want to be comfortable and seek approval from others. We are afraid of being judged, or thought heretical. We want to sit in church on Sunday and be passive, yet feel good about ourselves because we did what we were supposed to do.

And there we stagnate. Wither and die. And life rolls on around us. Personally, I’d rather think, read, engage with culture, expand my horizons, realize there is more than one way to see things…..

I also find it interesting that many have come to this conclusion, they just aren’t talking to their “old” friends about it, like it’s some big secret, or they’re afraid of the reaction. Whatever. I’m tired of games and masks. What you see is what you get.

I still want to connect with old friends. I love to hear their stories and why they are where they are. How they got there, if it was hard…. and where they have settled. If they are convinced they have the answer, or if they are still seeking, growing, learning, moving. If they are hiding, or if they are themselves, others be damned.

Status quo people seem to have their lives together, have more money, have success. And are afraid to ruffle the waters cuz they might lose it all. If they even think that much. Life is stable, life is comparatively easy, it’s predictable, it’s safe.

The rest of us wander, never feel secure, take chance after chance, refuse to agree just because we are told it’s so. And are judged.

I’d love to sit with a settled friend - especially one from high school or college days and talk with them. See why they are where they are, what they think about things, why they have settled. But in the evangelical world it’s not easy. It’s always black or white, in or out, right or wrong. Which kinda keeps dialogue from happening. To say nothing of acceptance and understanding.

I don’t have the answers, but I sure have the questions.

Wanna talk??

The Fat Lady Sang.......and All is Said and Done

Goodnight Mrs. Calabash wherever you are...it was fun while it lasted...that's all she wrote...a closed chapter...over and done with...end of story...end of the road...a done deal...over and out.






























With a last day of sharing, a last time of reflection, a last dance of jubilant children, a last celebration of communion; and with the last chord slowing fading from the last acappella singing of the Doxology before gathering for our last lunch as a family, Via Christus has gone softly into the night.....

Amen

Memorial Day Weekend - the long and short of it.....

Wow - it was a busy weekend. A crazy weekend. A good weekend. A sad weekend. All rolled into one. A weekend wished for - to relax and enjoy, and a weekend dreaded because it meant the beginning of the end, and the start of the goodbyes.

Still trying to recover from my illness - (whatever it may be....I'm going back to the doctor again today.) I was excited to be able to sleep in on Saturday. Well, that was the plan. But Carissa's alarm didn't go off, and it was her first day of work for her internship. (At Oak Park Festival Theater.)

The job is about 50 minutes away and it was now 40 minutes before she was supposed to be there. So, being the mom, I jumped up, threw on a pair of dirty jeans and a t-shirt, ran a comb through my horribly dirty hair, ran a washcloth over my face, grabbed my keys and headed for the car. That way I could drive and she could get ready in the car. Plus, she didn't know exactly where she was going.

Of course there was traffic. Of course we got stopped by trains. Of course the place was hard to find. But fortunately her boss was forgiving. Way to make a great first impression. ;)

I did have presence of mind to grab a book as I ran out the door, so I was able to sit in a beautiful wild flower garden in Oak Park and think and read while she was in her meeting. After about an hour I got cold and moved to a lovely bench in the sun. Mmmmmm. After awhile the meeting was over and they went right to work. Apparently she would be working all day. I was hungry, I had to use the bathroom.....and I was in Oak Park. I couldn't just walk into a restaurant looking as awful as I did......

SOS to Kim. Please bring the other car out here and rescue me. Please. By now I was out of quarters for the meter, and also getting a bit too much sun. After about an hour he arrived, we left a car for Carissa and headed on home. And lunch. And a bathroom. :)

Where I had to catch up on the stuff I planned to do that day.......

Sunday. Normal Sunday routine. Up and out the door by 9 to drive to Yorkville. No problem. I didn't even forget the food, or the gifts for the party. April's parents were in town visiting, and it was so nice to meet them! After church we had our routine lunch out as a group - which is always fun. Then we headed back to Mike and Julie's for the baby shower/going away party. I pretty much staked out a place on the couch - since this whole breathing thing still isn't going so well. But we had a great time. We had typical party games, food, gifts - for the baby shower; and we made a scrapbook for Steve, Wendy and Liam for their going away gift.







It's hard to say goodbye to people that have become your family. Especially when they are moving so far away. They are the first to go from our little flock. And we will really miss them. I am grateful for the time we had together and all the good times we shared.



Jen called around the time the party was winding down. She was home from Michigan and her marathon. And she was hungry! So the girls and I took off for home. Of course, then no one could decide where to eat. We are pathetic. I did decide I was really hungry for a burger - no clue why. Which is problematic cuz Jen is a vegetarian. LOL. Fortunately, we have a Red Robin close by and I could get my yummy hamburger and Jen could get a boca burger version. Problem solved.

We had a good meal, and headed home. How could the evening be passing so quickly? Jen was leaving in the morning for Kansas City by way of Minneapolis. Where has all the time gone? Two goodbyes in one weekend is just not fair! How did we celebrate our last evening? By piling in my bed (yes, with the dog) and watching Forrest Gump. :)


Morning came - it always does. And it was time for even harder good byes. But we managed - after a rather humorous episode of trying to cram even more stuff in the back of her jeep wrangler, and figure out how Jake (who she had just met the night before when he crashed on our floor, and would be traveling with her -) tried to fold his 6 foot something skinny frame into the front seat of her wrangler where some days I barely fit. I miss Jen.

Kim and Carissa headed out to do some shopping. That is an understatement. They went to Carmax to find another car. One that Carissa can take back to school in the fall. Apparently Carissa has daddy wrapped around her little finger. They came home with a loaded, six year old Mini Cooper. With GPS and a sunroof.



Me, I hacked away at the ground trying to get more of it ready for planting, and I hacked away half my lungs as I did it. But by the late afternoon I did have 8 tomato plants, 8 pepper plants, and all my herbs planted. (The melons, cucumbers, and squash went in on Saturday.) All I have left to go are the beans, and Kim will have to get the ground ready for them. And let me tell you, it was hot and really, really muggy yesterday. I felt like I was breathing soup. Well....when I could breathe. I finally gave up, took a shower, and went for a spin in the Mini Cooper. It's been 22 years since I drove a stick, but it was great fun.

Now we have 5 cars to juggle in our driveway every day. Let me tell you - that takes creativity and planning.

This morning I woke up to hear Kelsey talking to someone. Before 7. She's never up before 7 if she's not going to classes. Puzzled I asked her what was up - and apparently, maybe, possibly Julie is in labor and Kelsey was headed to Yorkville to watch Emma. Hopefully all is well there. The baby would be early, but he is good sized. And Julie has been so sick she needs to deliver this child. I hope it's not a false alarm for her sake, yet part of me wants it to be for the babies sake......

So, now I'm at work, still coughing, and tired as heck. But I only have to work another hour because I'm going to the doctor (yes - again) today to see if I am any better.......

So, that was my weekend. Not written in a very polished form, just bare bones. Cuz that is where I am right now. Just the facts. Minus wittiness or humor. Or depth.

Now you know.

UPDATE: Well, Julie is still pregnant.....good for the baby, hard on Julie. And frustrating.
C'est la vie......

The Stronghold

We are back from our third, and unfortunately final, Via Christus retreat. We had a really good, but quite emotionally stressful weekend. Really, at this point I don't have anything I feel like saying. So I will share a few of the pictures I took during solitude and silence time as I wandered the grounds with God.
And a few more candids from around the castle.
Enjoy!

What's a girl to do??

So, the question has become what are we gonna do AVC? (After Via Christus) And quite honestly I have to say I don't know. I just don't have a clue. I've been trying to stay in the moment and take advantage of and enjoy every moment we have left. It would be easy to say "I can't" when presented with current VC opportunities - because after all what will it matter in two months? That's not the way to look at it. And I struggle. I am frustrated that such a good thing has to have a conclusion. And yet, so excited for where God is leading people. Life is fluid. That's all there is to it. And we have to deal with that fluctuation, and with change. So, again, I don't know what is in store. Mike said it well on his blog yesterday....

" I was reminded that after being immersed in a highly participatory house church community for so long, it would be really hard (if not impossible) for me to go back and be content in that non-interactive "sermon and a sing-along" format anymore, not even if I was the one up front getting to do the sermon."

I know, I hear you all saying if you can't find one, start one. But I certainly don't feel equipped to do so no matter how much I'd like to be. And I certainly don't have the enthusiasm of someone twenty years younger. Or the ideas, connections, knowledge and energy it would take.

I do think about it though, what it would take, how it would look, and who we could get to come on board. But I'm afraid each of the people I would like to incorporate, and whom I think could and would contribute and benefit from this kind of group has multiple reasons why it wouldn't work. Including teenage kids that "need" a youth group.

No easy answers, just more questions. I suppose if you don't dream you'll never get there, but I can all too easily see that dream turning into a nightmare....

What Is A SUCCESSFUL Church?

I came across a great post this morning as I was reading blogs. It is from Kathy Escobar at The Carnival in my Head. It is entitled The New Ways are Harder.
Here is a quote from her post:

"i sometimes miss the old ways. you see, the new ways are way harder. there are so many subtle ways that the road we’re on is so much trickier to pull off. i keep waiting for smoother sailing, greener pastures, someone to swoop in and say “we believe in you, we want to do this with you, what do you need?” and i’m starting to realize, it may not come. plus, i’m pretty sure the life of following Christ was never about ease, comfort, success, numbers, budgets, earthly relief. i’ll say, though, part of my human condition always seems to be longing for it. one thing i have observed is that many “new” churches are really still relying on old ways and that’s why they probably will get a lot further than we will! i look sometimes at them and think “what are we doing wrong?” and then i realize we really are talking apples & oranges. church as compared to this thing we’re doing that’s better described as a faith-community-missional-agency-Christ-likeness-

relational-training-ground."

In the post she puts words to many things that I have been thinking. And she is so right. The old ways were much easier. (I especially like her comparison of the old ways and the new ways.) Being who we are supposed to be and doing what we are supposed to do, and not worrying about whether we are "successful" or not IS hard.
It's sad that church plants, gatherings, house churches etc. are only successful if they are large, growing, self sustaining (monetarily) entities.
Unfortunately, these little communities often don't make it because of this very thing. They can't support themselves. At least in the "old way". And it's hard to imagine a new way that can make this work. We are all such products of the churches we came out of that we often can't shift into a new way of being/doing church. The very definition of church has to change IMHO to make this new model work.
I have been reading Neil Cole's book Organic Church. He also addresses these issues. He contends that the DNA of the church must change. Our communities must become relational, and he suggests SMALL. I'm not sure I would go quite as small as he suggests, (two or three, which he sites as the Biblical model) but I get the idea he is trying to convey.
Small churches have stronger community, stronger accountability, necessary confidentiality, more flexibility, better communication, stronger direction and more effective leadership.
Small is good. Small is hard. Small is more intimate, more incarnational, more authentic and honest by nature. It's hard to hide in a small group. Small means seeing the problems, the messes, the sins of individuals and working with them. Everyone on the same journey, albeit at different points, working together to advance the Kingdom. In this setting self is often sacrificed for the group and for the sake of Christ. Struggles, honesty, messiness; it all makes us stronger if we are willing to to forgo easy and enter in to this kind of "church".
I hate that money dictates success. If we can't pay for programs we aren't successful. If we can't support a pastor on our own, we aren't successful. If we aren't growing, we aren't successful.
I don't believe it. Not for a minute.
It's the tight knit, incarnational, compassionate, missional small group that to me says success.
We are desperately in need of a new way of thinking. A new definition of a successful church.
But that's just my opinion.